“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” – Andre Gide (1869 – 1951)
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I’m pretty sure that the above quote simply means – you should avoid being a phony-baloney. And just keep it real.
Easier said than done. For a lot of people.
I am really not sure what leads some people down the path of being fake. And why they find it so difficult to just be “themselves.” I will leave that up to the psychologists.
But.
What I am sure of…is this – you only wind up hurting yourself when you are fake. Yeah, yeah. Maybe in the short-term you are wronging the victim of your phoniness. But – long term. You will wind up suffering. Trust me on that one.
Let me elaborate. We are all composed of unique personalities. Each one of us has positive – and negative – attributes. But, that’s fine. Because being flawed is what makes us who we are. But, if you try to constantly hide these flaws by pretending you are this amazingly, flawless person who makes everyone happy – then you wind up not enjoying the uniqueness that is YOU. In fact, all you are doing is pleasing everyone else.
I’m not trying to be preachy. Far from it. I just want people to realize that a society of “real” people is much, much better than one made up of phony people. Because when we act “real” we are able to solve REAL problems. But, if we are just in “pretend mode” all the time, then we will always pretend that everything is fine…all the time
You may fool some people with the phoniness. But, most people will be able to spot you pretty quickly. And, once you are known as a phony, you will find it difficult to have that label removed. It’s not just going to hurt your personal life, but also your professional life.
The first thing I do when I meet someone is assess their genuineness. I mean. I don’t explicitly sit there and act like an assessing robot, but I do subconsciously evaluate if that person is trustworthy. Or if they are feeding me a load of bull. And if you are feeding me BS 24/7, I have no interest in hanging out, or working, with you. I am sure many people feel the same way.
Why don’t we all just be ourselves?
Let’s try it. Yeah, you may wind up offending someone, or telling someone things they might not want to hear. But, hey. Keeping it real is sometimes more difficult than being fake. Because when you are a real, you are exposing yourself, and your vulnerabilities. But, you are also showing people the awesomeness that you have to offer. I’m not saying being “real” equates to being a total jerk to people. You can still live by the old adage of “if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.” But, you don’t have to constantly put on this charade of pretending you are something you are not.
Just be YOU…
I’ll like you. And so will a lot of other people. And, if they don’t. Who needs them anyway.
Have a great weekend!
Categories: Ideas
Kevin Hotter 
Sometimes, lack of authenticity arrises from the need to protect one’s personal safety. It takes awhile to unlearn this psychological protective mechanism. We LGBTs call it coming out. Each time we come out feels like a new lease on life.
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Thanks for sharing, and for the comment!
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Thank you for liking “First Snow.” Great post! 🙂 Not being able to be me was one of the reasons why I hated high school. There were the dreaded social cliques where you had to dress, act, and think in a particular way in order to be accepted. For awhile, I tried to play the game of fitting in, but then one day I decided to stop playing the game because I realized that I was not good at it. I was not an outgoing person. I made an attempt to participate in a few school activities, but I did not seem to like them after awhile. I liked art, but my parents made me stay in a special program that focused on science, math, and computer classes instead. It seemed like no one accepted me the way that I was during that time, and I counted the days to graduation.
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Thank you so much for your personal comment. Life is interesting that way. You always here “be yourself,” yet people are so much more comfortable when you are just like them. Even though we have never met in person, I can tell you are a great person. So…just keep being “you.” 🙂
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You are welcome. 🙂 Yes, I agree! I have noticed that there are people who demand that everyone be tolerant of their viewpoints, but then those same people are very intolerant of those who have a different viewpoint from theirs!
Thank you for thinking so highly of me even if we have not met in person. I think you are a thoughtful and caring person. I enjoy your posts because they challenge people to think about themselves and the choices they make in their lives, and it is good to know someone else who lives in California too! 🙂
And thank you for liking “Wildflowers” and “More Wildflowers.” I hope you have a great weekend! 🙂
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Thanks so much! Have a great weekend! 😃
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Both the quote and the photo are so beautiful! I’ve read one of Andre Gide’s works (I happen to speak French), but I didn’t’ know he was the author of this quote.
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Glad you enjoyed it Shery! 🙂
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This article was spot on! My biggest “beef” with some people……just be who you are, don’t be one of “those” phonies!!
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I couldn’t agree more! I wish everyone could read this. BTW, I enjoyed checking out your writings. Thanks for stopping by and following me. I appreciate it!
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You’re welcome! I am married with a daughter, so I also know how important it is to continue to pursue things that get your creative juices flowing. Good luck with the blog! I will continue to check it out. Thanks for the kind words, too.
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