March 23, 2015 • 62

Relationships – It Takes Two to Tango

“Waters of Serenity” (Arcadia, CA)

Our lives are filled with relationships. Some good. Some bad. And, some…confusing.

Relationships come in all forms –

– ranging from intimate to casual. But, regardless, of the degree of closeness, one fact remains. Relationships are a two-way street. Give and take.

Not a one-sided, give-all, take-all…thing.

Over the years, we come in contact, and make connections with, all sorts of people. A few of these relationships will stand the test of time, whereas most of these relationships will fizzle out.

That’s fine with me. But, what drives me crazy is this –

When people put little or no effort in maintaining and strengthening a relationship.

It seems that so many people will only continue with a relationship if it’s convenient. To have a true relationship – of any type – there needs to be an effort from both parties. Some sacrifices. Some compromises. And, some inconveniences.

Now, of course, I am fully aware that some relationships just come to an end – naturally. But, there are ones in which you know that there is a connection. And, that connection is readily apparent when you either see or talk with that person. Yet, when it comes down to that other person making some sort of effort, they vanish into the abyss.

I’ve been dumped before. And, that’s cool. I guess. Haha

But, I am not talking about that kind of abrupt end. I am truly speaking of relationships that endure a long, slow death despite having all the ingredients for success.

All the ingredients – except for one thing…a lack of willingness by one of the parties to treat the relationship as a living, breathing entity that needs to be nurtured.

I continually try to evaluate my approach to life. I sit back. Think. And, evaluate.

I have decided to dig deep down inside, and make more of an effort in my personal relationships. Because, I am far from perfect at maintaining them. Whether it is being too stubborn. Or holding a grudge. Or just being plain lazy. I need to improve my approach.

Maybe if we all took a moment to think about how we treat the people in our lives, we may think of ways in which we could improve those relationships. And, wouldn’t that be nice!

(P.S. I took that photograph of the waterfall at the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden. A really cool, and beautiful place.)

Categories: Ideas, Inspiration, Photography

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62 replies »

  1. Great article Kevin! I couldn’t agree more. I am by no means perfect but I sometimes find myself exhausted from trying to keep up certain relationships, usually with family members. I think some people feel that because they’re family they don’t have to make any kind of effort and that just isn’t true. I sincerely believe that some relationships are worth the effort and we should try our best to sustain them but others should just end. 🙂

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    • I totally agree, Vashti!! It is amazing how some family members think they can get a free pass on actually being an active part of your life…simply because they are family. I am by no means perfect either, and I am constantly trying my best to figure out how to make those deteriorating relationships better. Thanks for the comment!!

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  2. Amen! Love love love this. I was guilty of this in my first few relationships but have completely learned now how important it is to put in the efforts to really understand and get into that other person to find out what makes them feel special, because newsflash, its not always gonna be the same as you right? Great writing,looking forward to reading more!

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  6. Amen to that! It sucks being the giver, compromiser, negotiator, succumber, fixer, weight-bearing “understander”… etc, when the other won’t even meet you halfway. All relationships take work and seldom are both parties equally yoked, which I believe is half the problem. In any case, thanks so much for the follow. 🙂 And I love all of your amazing pics of this place I call home! Great eye…

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  8. A really cool and beautiful photo. Wow strong words honey, strong and true 🙂
    One must do more to tend the fire, sometimes it is hard if you can Feel the heat but cannot See through the smoke. We are only human with a lifetime of limitations to lift. Best of luck with your relationships my friend. ❤ Beautiful photos 🙂 Peace

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  9. You are so right about relationships, but what caught me from jump was the breath taking photo amazing is all that comes to my mind truly beautiful for sure love it!!!!

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  12. Thanks for following my blog, so I could find out about yours and read this – totally agree, enjoyed reading it! And the comments too. You’ve got a nice little community here 🙂 which is really lovely. It is a mystery why some people choose not to put an effort into something that has all the ingredients for success. Sometimes I wonder if (at least) some people decide to sabotage whatever is good so that they can moan how life isn’t good, who would know. Anyhow, nice ‘meeting’ you!

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  13. Great post Kevin, and so true! We have to work on a relationship everyday to keep it healthy, and alive. It’s easy to give up, through compromise and communicate comes a strong bond. The waterfall is amazing, one of natures flowing beauties.

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  14. Excellent post – I couldn’t agree more with what you said. Some relationships are just not meant to survive and that’s fine, but when “everything” is there to make it great and one person is unwilling to make a little effort – it seems like such a waste and it’s infuriating. As you can probably tell, i’m “identifying” here 😉

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  16. Thanks for stopping by my blog so that I am not able to read yours. Excellent take on things in your post. You do have to really work at relations… as my grandmother use to tell me, “relationships are like flowers, if you don’t water them (by working with give and take), they die. No one is perfect or an exact match as a friend or spouse. You just have to know what you can and cannot, or are or arenot, able to work out or deal with. Everyone is different. (just myt opinion)_

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  19. Wow. You are an old soul, Kevin, and it’s fabulous. Again, you are so right. I agree completely. Anyone who’s been married for any length of time can tell you it’s give and take, or it will end in divorce. After almost 18 years of marriage my husband and I have learned this lesson well. Another great post, Kevin. You rock!

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  21. Reading this, I’ve had the weirdest feeling that someone wrote down my own thoughts… To the word I mean, which made the experience both spooky and cool!

    Do you think that not all people see relationships as ‘living, breathing entities’? What’s at the core of this convenience business?

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    • Wow, I am glad my words spoke to you in that way! I don’t know the answer to your first question. I wish I did. There is probably a lot of factors but someone said this yesterday – it’s about how much value YOU assign to a particular relationship. As for the convenience aspect, I am pretty sure that goes back to being self-centered, and only wanting some people in your life for your own selfish reasons. Who knows…What do you think?

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  24. This is SO true Kevin! Even if your life is extemely busy, just take time to show a small effort, a phone call, to stop in, just something to let the other person know that they have not been forgotten!

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  26. Very well said kevin! Relationships can be so simple yet so complex! Nurturing relationships takes effort and mindfulness. Whether family relations, personal, professional and all the way down to meet and greet, and acquaintances! As simple as saying hello to someone you come across is an effort! I think that the root of it all boils down to value – how much we value a particular relationships – all relationships for that matter! Nice photo!!

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  27. Hey, Kevin!!! It is now surprise that you are a real good comedian since you are looking so far behind the surface. I love your deep thoughts. This post is beautiful. And I love that last part: “Maybe if we all took a moment to think about how we treat the people in our lives, we may think of ways in which we could improve those relationships. And, wouldn’t that be nice!” Wonderful!

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    • Thank you, Erika! I always appreciate your positive comments. It’s funny. I had a comedy show last night, and on my drive home…I kept thinking about how many one-sided relationships I have encountered in my life. And, I figured – probably a lot of people have experienced the same thing. Thanks again!!

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    • I enjoyed your article. You are correct, it takes 2 to make it work.
      But after 73 years of life and coming up on 48 years of marriage, I’m can’t really put my finger on just what it is that makes a relationship work.

      In many instances we enjoy each others company, but that is as far as it goes.
      There is nothing wrong with that, but there are a few (very few) outside of family that I would go the ultimate distance for.

      Why those few, I really do not know, but if they called me and said they needed me to fly to “God knows where” and give them a kidney, I’d be on the first plane.

      Family is another matter. What makes certain couples stay together for the duration and others crash early on is a mystery to me. I do know that spending your life wanting to spend time with your spouse and work at keeping the other person happy is critical. The term “a happy wife is a happy life”, really goes both ways. You start with a hug in the morning and a kiss at night, no matter how old you are.
      Dick

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