…grappling with FORGIVENESS

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I took this photo early this morning in a Southern Californian mountain range. After I took the picture, I just stared into the unknown universe that peeked through the cloud cover. I kind of went into a trance, as I thought about life and all sorts of things related to our existence.

One thought that kept bouncing around my head, centered on the concept of forgiveness. I grapple with it on a daily basis.

I’m a sensitive person. But that’s not how I come off to many people. I present myself with a confidence, and aloofness that masks the sensitivity that lurks just below my skin. My sensitivity leads me to much heartache.

IMG_7011Because…

I take everything very personally. And things that people do (or don’t do) to me have a deep impact on my sense of well-being. But holding on that anger. That resentment. That hurt. Well…it just serves no purpose.

Over the course of my life, I have asked many times for forgiveness from the people in my life. And, I am sure many of you have as well.

So. If I can ask for – and expect to receive – this forgiveness, then I should certainly do a better job of forgiving those who have wronged me. Or those who I perceive to have wronged me.

Why I take things so personal is something I think about often. But, that’s a topic for another time. For now, it’s time to forgive and forget. It’s going to be 2015 in two days, and it certainly would be a terrific way to start the New Year …

If I could (and we all could) forgive those around us, and move on to more peaceful times.

Happy New Year!!

 

 

26 thoughts on “…grappling with FORGIVENESS

  1. I think the key to forgiveness, Kevin, is to let go of the past and concentrate on the now. What causes the problems with forgiveness is “trust.” How do you learn to trust a person who has hurt you? If they are someone who you deem worth it, then you take baby steps to rebuild the trust that was lost.

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    1. I agree, Michele. Adding to that, I also think forgiveness depends a lot on the extent to which you were hurt, and what type of person you are. The longer you hold onto the anger, and resentment – you only wind up hurting yourself even more. Thanks for the comment!! Have a wonderful weekend.

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  2. Are you famous? You ought to be! I must be asleep not to know!
    You write so incredibly wonderful! And in everything you’re doing I see…dedication and passion. Umm.. Okay, it sounds odd, but that is exactly what I thought!

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  3. You take things personally because they are personal and intended as personal. It is just that those callous hurtful people are like soul vandals, or internet virus creators. They don’t really care, they just want to hurt somebody, so they do. Empathetic people tend to see through social niceties to the person underneath, and that often is painful. They don’t really want forgiveness, they want safety and power. Vandals, of all sorts, cause real pain and real hardship and do real damage. The only protection is to learn to recognize when it’s on purpose and when it is an honest mistake. As perceptive as you are, it won’t take you long to recognize the clues. You may have to work with such people, and interact, but you are not required to like them, or share your privacy, or voluntarily give them access to vulnerabilities, professional or personal. That is just my personal opinion, to which I am entitled as I am a Crazy Old Swamp Lady Bear. Happy New Year … I think it will might be a good one, especially if it rains a little more. 🙂

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      1. Dunno about wisdom, but I do have opinions. And personally, I don’t view a “thick skin” as an asset. Those casually cruel jerks do not require that forgive them, or spend time soul searching. They have lessens to teach, though unpleasant, it is not so different than bad drivers … they are there to teach you to be alert and to pay attention. You don’t have to forgive or not forgive. Must you forgive the ocean for being too salty to drink? But you do forgive your sweet-heart for being late.

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  4. What a beautiful post. I find it much easier to forgive when I look at the nature of our world, and life. Its the imperfection of it all, everyone is only human , trying to do their best with what they have. Our ego’s are responsible for much of the turmoil in our lives. Its basically a game of our ego’s reacting off of other peoples egoic behaviours. Once I realise this, I don’t blame the person, I blame their egoic nature. Their nativity, and I also look at my own reactive nature and ask “what does this teach me about myself?”. Thanks for sharing this, wishing you a happy and prosperous new year!

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  5. How refreshingly honest! As a fellow sensitive person, I totally “feel” where your coming from. For me, it’s more of a I forgive them but I don’t want to really let on as appearing too vulnerable or soft for fear of being hurt again—which could make me seem mean or aloof. What intricate and delicate people we all are—ever reinforcing our need for a God that can help our shortcomings. Happy New year!

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  6. Great post. As a fellow sensitive person I completley sympathize. Forgiveness is a hard thing to do, specially when we are aware of our sensitivity and that makes us even more protectitive of our own feelings and ironically, less likely to forgive for fear that forgiving means opening ourselves up to it happening again. Good stuff!

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    1. Thanks John! Yeah, when I do my morning hikes…It’s just me and my thoughts. I see from your photos that you are in California quite often. This state (and the whole Southwest) is an amazing area to take great photos!

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