Difficult. Annoying. Obnoxious.
However you want to say it. There is no denying that – some people – are impossible to deal with.
Who knows. Maybe some people find me difficult. But, for the sake of this article, let’s just assume that I’m awesome. Okay, maybe not awesome. How about – pretty cool? Okay, okay. I can be difficult sometimes, but I do my best not to be.
And my title to this article is intentionally misleading. There is no mystique to difficult people. Their difficult personalities erase all the mystery.
At this point, some people may be thinking, “Hey, didn’t this dude just write about positivity on Friday? This doesn’t sound like a very positive outlook.”
You’re totally right. But the thing is…
…approaching situations in a positive manner does not change the fact that we are often put in no-win situations. Oftentimes, with someone who is hell-bent on making our life as difficult as possible for the duration of the horrific interaction.
There are all sorts of difficult people
You have the stubborn mule, who refuses to budge on any opinion.
You also have the crusty curmudgeon who is bitter and angry. Always.
Finally, you have the complete fake. The person that is probably made mostly out of the same feathers as your pillow. (That list is obviously not exhaustive…they are many more types of difficult people. But that goes without saying.)
Whenever you are faced with a challenging person. Your safest bet is to rise above the situation by remembering what a good person you are. And also remembering that this particular person is an anomaly…because, in fact, I would bet that most people are decent. Unfortunately, we are just bombarded with the awful things in the world instead of being able to see all the wonderful and kind things people do on a daily basis.
And rising above the situation can be as simple as walking away with your mouth closed. Or as complex as leaving the toxic environment for good.
One thing to keep in mind is that — whoever is hurting you will go home and have to look at themselves in the mirror. And, trust me. Unless they are a complete psychopath, they will not feel good about their behavior. And you, being the confident person you are, should not be phased by the bad energy they are throwing in your direction.
I used to handle these kind of situations horribly. I let my ego get in the way. I would express my dissatisfaction (I think that’s the polite way of saying what I really did). And all that does is turn the situation into some sort of circular argument with an irrational person. An argument that goes on…and on…and on. Leaving both people exasperated and empty.
Over the course of my life, I’ve sought to improve myself through inner reflection and outer observation. I do a lot of thinking about my behavior. Both good and bad. And how my behavior affects other people. I really hate the feeling I have when I’m a jerk to someone for no reason. Well. There is a reason. I’m usually annoyed at something else, and I take it out on them. Or, I overreact. Big time. And when I finally have a chance to think about it. I realize what an idiot I had just been.
It’s all about self-awareness. And if you are aware of who YOU are, then whatever people do or say to you will have little impact. Because you know that their own difficulty is something usually totally unrelated to you, and they apparently lack self-awareness. Because if they had self-awareness, they would know that they are merely projecting their problems onto you.
Self-awareness is such an amazing accomplishment; one that I believe is a life long pursuit.
Take care everyone! Have a great day!