“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.” – Andre Gide (1869 – 1951)
I’m pretty sure that the above quote simply means – you should avoid being a phony-baloney. And just keep it real.
Easier said than done. For a lot of people.
I am really not sure what leads some people down the path of being fake. And why they find it so difficult to just be “themselves.” I will leave that up to the psychologists.
What I am sure of…is this – you only wind up hurting yourself when you are fake. Yeah, yeah. Maybe in the short-term you are wronging the victim of your phoniness. But – long term. You will wind up suffering. Trust me on that one.
Let me elaborate. We are all composed of unique personalities. Each one of us has positive – and negative – attributes. But, that’s fine. Because being flawed is what makes us who we are. But, if you try to constantly hide these flaws by pretending you are this amazingly, flawless person who makes everyone happy – then you wind up not enjoying the uniqueness that is YOU. In fact, all you are doing is pleasing everyone else.
I’m not trying to be preachy. Far from it. I just want people to realize that a society of “real” people is much, much better than one made up of phony people. Because when we act “real” we are able to solve REAL problems. But, if we are just in “pretend mode” all the time, then we will always pretend that everything is fine…all the time
You may fool some people with the phoniness. But, most people will be able to spot you pretty quickly. And, once you are known as a phony, you will find it difficult to have that label removed. It’s not just going to hurt your personal life, but also your professional life.
The first thing I do when I meet someone is assess their genuineness. I mean. I don’t explicitly sit there and act like an assessing robot, but I do subconsciously evaluate if that person is trustworthy. Or if they are feeding me a load of bull. And if you are feeding me BS 24/7, I have no interest in hanging out, or working, with you. I am sure many people feel the same way.
Why don’t we all just be ourselves?
Let’s try it. Yeah, you may wind up offending someone, or telling someone things they might not want to hear. But, hey. Keeping it real is sometimes more difficult than being fake. Because when you are a real, you are exposing yourself, and your vulnerabilities. But, you are also showing people the awesomeness that you have to offer. I’m not saying being “real” equates to being a total jerk to people. You can still live by the old adage of “if you have nothing nice to say, then say nothing at all.” But, you don’t have to constantly put on this charade of pretending you are something you are not.
Just be YOU…
I’ll like you. And so will a lot of other people. And, if they don’t. Who needs them anyway.
Have a great weekend!